The Yearning (written on May 16 2013)
It is a beautiful, breezy spring night. As I sit watching a lone twinkling star in the dark indigo night sky, I am filled with a sadness so profound. I cannot help but wonder that in this vast Universe, I feel as alone as that lone star. Alone, as I embark on this journey, alone again when it all ends...to what end am I striving for with no clear purpose ahead.
Day in and day out, the monotony remains unchanged. As if on autopilot, my actions go on barely touching the Soul within. I yearn for that connection but it remains elusive as always. I fret and fume and despair to no avail. Many a sleepless night have I spent, searching...always searching but I am no closer to an answer than when I first began.
So many roles I play, a friend, mom, wife, daughter, as if they all collectively define me. But as I sit here in the deepening darkness, none of them seem true to me. And yet, I feel a tug so strong in my heart that 'I' am something more. I am powerless to describe the feeling but know that when all else fade away, this longing, this Yearning will stay.
I may not give much thought to this sense of Awe as night morphs into day. But I am reassured by the Spark within that all I need to do is look...look inwards just like tonight, until the desire consumes me and I am the Yearning and the Yearning becomes Me.
It is a beautiful, breezy spring night. As I sit watching a lone twinkling star in the dark indigo night sky, I am filled with a sadness so profound. I cannot help but wonder that in this vast Universe, I feel as alone as that lone star. Alone, as I embark on this journey, alone again when it all ends...to what end am I striving for with no clear purpose ahead.
Day in and day out, the monotony remains unchanged. As if on autopilot, my actions go on barely touching the Soul within. I yearn for that connection but it remains elusive as always. I fret and fume and despair to no avail. Many a sleepless night have I spent, searching...always searching but I am no closer to an answer than when I first began.
So many roles I play, a friend, mom, wife, daughter, as if they all collectively define me. But as I sit here in the deepening darkness, none of them seem true to me. And yet, I feel a tug so strong in my heart that 'I' am something more. I am powerless to describe the feeling but know that when all else fade away, this longing, this Yearning will stay.
I may not give much thought to this sense of Awe as night morphs into day. But I am reassured by the Spark within that all I need to do is look...look inwards just like tonight, until the desire consumes me and I am the Yearning and the Yearning becomes Me.
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